Why do you build me up.....

Hello everyone, long couple days no blog. I don't know why I'm doing this so much lately, I guess because it's spring and that means its time to start doing lots of things again. That may seem odd for blogs, you would think I would want to do this while it is cold outside and I can wrap up in a blanket and ponder the universe. Well spring seems to gets my mental gears turning thinking about things, especially with everything I have had happen in the last few months. So here is my thought tonight, has your perspective on something or someone ever changed almost overnight?? Seems like a pretty simple idea here but to me it isn't, my entire life I have thought that our personalities, our perspectives on life and the things in our lives is molded by what happens to us and our environments, I've had lots of interesting debates over this and if you are wondering about it message me, I'm always up for a good conversation. Back to my point though, have you ever felt like you were blinded by something and then suddenly you saw the light, no pun intended? I've had one of these moments I'm not going to lie, I'm kinda shocked. I over think everything if you cannot tell by this blog or my previous ones and I'm rarely shocked in this way or I don't foresee outcomes. Well what can you guys tell me about this, your thoughts would be much appreciated, stories of this happening or anything, just saying hey, yeah its happened to me would be great too. Also I apologize, I usually set my blogs up with a song which some of these blogs are inspired from or I'm listening to due to how close they are to my situation and then put that song at the end so you guys can listen to it, this week the song doesn't match the blog at, but there is a reason. While gone this weekend some friends and I wanted to do karaoke to "Build Me Up Buttercup," but unfortunately they didn't have the song, I know, it was wrong for them to exclude this wonderful song that I could have made a fool out of myself singing but what can you do, so I think that is going to be the song for this blog. Later guys

MF

"Build Me Up Buttercup"-The Foundations

I don't want to live without you but I don't want to live a lie.....

Why do people lie to themselves? Seems like a simple question right, I mean truthfully what is the point in telling yourself a lie, does it help you out in any way or does it actually hurt you. I think sometimes its easier for people to lie to themselves than it is to be honest, life can be so hard sometimes that people think if I can hold on to this one thing maybe it can be a little easier. When things aren't going the way they wish they think maybe if I hold on to this a little longer the situation or maybe even the person will change. The sad thing about this is that most of the time nothing does change, especially your happiness. Sometimes its just best to take what you have and move on, there is always the hope of better days ahead, of something better out there or even someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. It takes strength to admit when things need to be changed and you have done all you can, no one wants to give up on ideas or even people, but I'm here to tell you that sometimes there really isn't anything you can do. I've never been the type of person to think this, I have fought tooth and nail for things my entire life, but maybe part of growing up is learning to choose our battles, I look back and I don't regret the times I have done what I did, but it really didn't do me any good. I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea here, if you feel its worth going for and fighting for then I think you should do everything in your power for it, go that extra mile, "anything in life worth having doesn't come easy," I think that is one of the most important things we can ever learn. Then again, there are times where it isn't you, its the situation or the other person and it isn't possible for you to change it, those are the times you have to move on......

MF

Lifehouse - "We'll Never Know"

Mistakes

Mistakes, we all make them, come on we're human, it is expected of us. If this is the case why is it that most of us continuously make the same mistakes over and over. Then what is worse we try to hide the mistakes that we make so we look better in the eyes of the people around us. The sad thing is if we were to just own up to our mistakes it would more than likely be easier on us and then we could properly learn from them. The most common mistakes that I know people make are with members of the opposite sex or the same if that floats your boat, but for some odd reason we can never tell the people we care about or love that we have messed up for the fear of what it would do to that image they have of us. To me mistakes are a good thing, they teach us to be stronger, to be better. I know that I am far from perfect, if you are reading this then you know me and can agree with this. I think it takes true strength to own up to your mistakes and face the consequences though, this is a type of strength I'm working on, it isn't easy to admit to others that you have messed up, it is even harder to admit it to yourself. Later eveyone.

I'm sick of thinking up titles where I don't think I need one.

So how is everyone these days, I know I haven’t been on here as of late but I have been busy. As for me things are going pretty well, all my classes are starting to get nuts with lots of things due, I took on some new projects for work which includes testing my cashiers to make sure they know their stuff, I am really enjoying writing out this quiz, uh huh. Anyway news wise I have seen nothing major worth noting, last night WB 11 did a piece on how there are less women toilets in the new Bush Stadium then there are men’s by around 38 I think, wow, this is horrible and I know it could destroy the new stadium. Well actually it is against state law but this is still me, not caring, you know the news is desperate for stories when it reports on a toilet shortage. The only thing else that is going on is that a friend has been talking to me about this guy she has a big crush on and how scared she is to ask him out. She has butterflies and I keep having to put her back on the path of asking him out because she is scared to do it. She says she has never asked a guy out and she doesn't know how to do it, so I told her well you got me on that because I have never asked a guy out as well, but I have a few girls in my time and I told her what anyone would, just go for it. Win or lose at least she took the chance and I think that is a victory in itself. You know I find myself jealous of her in some ways, it has been a long time since I felt the way she is right now, I have not found anyone who even remotely gets me like that since last fall and I miss it. The girl I knew then I dated for a little bit and I was pretty happy for that short period, I don't want her back, when we ended it we did so on a mutual understanding of why it wasn't going to work, I just miss the feeling and the ability to hold her. She got me so addicted to holding her, we were at this bar one night with some friends and as she sat in the chair next to me she leaned into me the entire night and I just held her, I can still remember thinking that I never wanted that night to end. While I am happy being single because I am doing a lot of things right now that I feel I need to before I get involved with anyone again I miss those moments, any other type of happiness is hard to measure against those because they seem perfect to me. The time I spent with that girl will forever be perfect to me, the first night I talked to her for seven hours about nothing, our first date to the horrible movie that we made fun of the entire time all the way to our final date where I surprised her with a concert and flowers which is in my all time top five nights of my life. These are the type of moments I live my life for and look forward to finding again. Do you guys have any moments like these? Let’s take a poll of these night, these moments that you will never forget, let’s see what everyone has and comment them. Later guys

Here is something for all you romantics....

You give your hand to me
Then you say hello
And I can hardly speak
My heart is beating so
And anyone can tell
You think you know me well
But you don't know me

You don't know the one
Who dreams of you at night
And longs to kiss your lips
Longs to hold you tight
I'm just a friend
That's all I've ever been
Cause you don't know me

For I never knew the art of making love
Though my heart aches with love for you
Afraid and shy I let my chance go by
The chance that you might love me too

You give your hand to me
Then you say goodbye
I watch you walk away beside the lucky guy
You'll never never know
The one who loves you so
Well you don't know me

You give your hand to me
Then you say goodbye
I watch you walk away beside the lucky guy
Oh you will never know The one who loves you so
Cause you don't know me
Oh no you don't know me
Oohh...you don't know me

Am I Rambling again.......

Hello again everyone,
I was once again bored during my break between classes so I thought I would write what was going on in my world. Absolutely nothing as usual, my birthday has come and passed, it has been a little hard for me to believe that I am now 23, that number is getting bigger each year, I don't like it. I have now decided that I will no longer age, I am old enough now. With that said I will move on to all new issues, as you all know I just got my Ipod a couple of weeks ago and I love it, it is the best thing in the world as it is yet again attached to my hip. Now I was reading an article about the new video ipods that are coming out or being announce on April 1st. This new device has a much bigger screen and the click wheel we have all come to love is going to disappear for a new on screen version that will show up when you touch the screen. This sounds interesting to me but I bet the 3.5 million people they sold these new 5G Ipods (5th Generation) are going to be really happy about it. That's okay though, also I was reading how Sony might be in big trouble with the PS3, the growing demand for Xbox 360s has not let up even with the few games that are out for it and it seems that blue ray technology might just have jumped up again in costs, this could easily spell doom for the company since the system was already going to cost around $500 a unit to produce and the games were going to at have to match if not cost more than the xbox 360's. The only other interesting stories I have read about lately is about this nice little parasite my be infecting our brains and we have no idea. That sounds crazy doesn't it, well according to the news articles I was reading this thing has different affects on everyone, it seems to make males become jealous easier and worry more, and as for the girls it makes the more outgoing and warm hearted, hmmm, is this a bad bug then(atleast for women)?????? I don't know, if you want to know more head over to digg.com, the article is there with most of the news I get these days. As for me that's pretty well it, except I have people complaining because I am thinking about doing something sweet for a girl that won't appreciate it and in most people's eyes doesn't really deserve it, any comments on that????
So long everyone

When that second shoe hits it hits hard.......

Hello everyone,

I hope everyone is doing okay as they read this, I always wish that my friends are doing good because I want them to have better luck than myself which I can quite assure you wouldn't be hard. So basically the reason I got on here was because I needed to vent a little bit and I wanted to put off doing my presentation paper on Nietzsche a little bit longer. So my last week has been very interesting, because of work I have had my sleep cycle destroyed, I can no longer fall asleep at midnight or even one am most of the time, I always end up tossing and turning till about three thirty or four in the morning before falling asleep and then trying to wake up a few hours later. This has not made for a good week in itself. I found out a couple fun facts this week that made life all that more lovely as well, for starters a family friend, the father of one of my good friends is very sick and is going to have to go the hospital in St. Louis for a few weeks to take treatments to try to remove his illness, this was a great shock to me because I have known this man all my life and would have never thought of him being sick or much less being able to become sick. When I think of this guy I put him in league with my father which is the scarier part, my dad is older and doesn't get out as much anymore, I am always constantly worrying about my dad. He has been there for me no matter what and in my opinion is by far the best human being on this planet, as with all my hypothesis I have facts to back this up so I'm not wrong. The next thing is the same night I found this all out my previous girlfriend decided to call me after two months of not talking, I enjoyed finding out she has been seeing someone for the past month and a half, that I know this guy but she won't tell me who it is and doesn't expect me to find out for quite sometime. I broke things off with her and I still feel it was for the best, I want her to be happy, she deserves that but she just had bad timing with putting it in my face even if she wasn't trying to. The next thing that I had occur was that I found out over the internet last night that the previous girl I saw was in a horrible car accident which literally demolished her car and spent a good day or so in the hospital. I had no idea of this and she ended up telling me this over AIM, better yet I work with this girl and I came to find out that people at work knew about it yet said nothing to me about it. That really floored me, this girl had been seeing another guy for a while now and I was fine with it and have moved on, we only saw each other for a little while but in that sort span of time she made a deep impression on me that I don't think I could get rid of if I wanted and it scared me to think that she could have died and I wouldn't have known. So I have had all these things on my mind and I have a presentation due on Tuesday that is suppose to last around twenty minutes. Oh joy to me, I couldn't concentrate today at all so I ended up at the gym where I sort out all my trouble and after about twelve miles of running I finally had to stop cuz I couldn't feel my legs anymore, truthfully that hit in around the eleventh mile but I didn't care enough at that point to stop. So here I am now trying to write out this presentation that I need to turn into the teacher tomorrow and then present on Tuesday and let me say, it is going well. So I hope everyone out there that this reaches is doing okay and is not experiencing anything like this, with that said I am sure there are those out there that have it worse, but this is my blog so I get to complain here right............ Yeah, thought so.

P.S. On a good note I got my Ipod back, thank god