Game

What is game exactly?? I am really starting to wonder this myself, do I have game, do I want game, I have been told by many that I do in some aspects have game and it is pretty good. I realize if I really want something I can get it, I have the ability if I think logically about it. So anyway what does this have to do with anything, well truthfully to me it has to do with everything. The truth be told I had never been that self secure of a person, I worried about what others thought of me and I was constantly comparing myself to other guys and wondering why girls liked them more than me, I was always more focused on the whys than the hows to fix this problem. Then came the realization that things weren't really that bad, I could fix all of this with changing how I look at things. This realization was then furthered when my friend Greg told me about this book I should read called "The Game" by Neil Strauss. This is a very interesting book in the fact that it talks about pick up artists and how they do what they do, the book isn't meant to teach you how to pick up women at all but in truth just covers the authors story of how he went from being self-conscious and shy to a smooth easy going guy that could pick up any girl he wanted. This was a two year period of his life where he learned and instigated all these things. The other night I decided to let go of some of my usual morals and try to get what I wanted by doing this, I wanted to kiss this girl, I didn't really have a big desire to go any further at that point because that's not how I am. Everyone can give me all the shit they want over this but I don't care, so be it. I did what I needed and guess what, I kissed her, multiple times. The sad thing is I never got to really kiss her though, when I kissed her it was in a way to keep her coming back for more, not to convey any type of emotion or to even say that hey, I like you. I'm not saying that it was bad but it wasn't what I wanted, to truly let go and kiss her. The book ends with Style (main character) realizing that what he was doing wasn't making himself happy at all and he wouldn't get what he wanted until he was honest with himself and everyone else. The book was very good and I recommend it to anyone who wishes to read it. So the end of the story is this, the answers I seek I still haven't found, I know I should be confident and easy going but it isn't easy still and this causes one thing. For me to end up alone here with my honesty and never getting to kiss the girl in the unprotected, laying it all on the line way that I wish I could have or even saying, I really like you for who you are and I don't care what other people say or think, because when I see you smile the air lifts a little and time slows down. I'm sorry, thought I doubt you will ever read this. Night time everyone, I wrote this kind of late so grammar problems I will fix later.
goodbye everyone