When that second shoe hits it hits hard.......

Hello everyone,

I hope everyone is doing okay as they read this, I always wish that my friends are doing good because I want them to have better luck than myself which I can quite assure you wouldn't be hard. So basically the reason I got on here was because I needed to vent a little bit and I wanted to put off doing my presentation paper on Nietzsche a little bit longer. So my last week has been very interesting, because of work I have had my sleep cycle destroyed, I can no longer fall asleep at midnight or even one am most of the time, I always end up tossing and turning till about three thirty or four in the morning before falling asleep and then trying to wake up a few hours later. This has not made for a good week in itself. I found out a couple fun facts this week that made life all that more lovely as well, for starters a family friend, the father of one of my good friends is very sick and is going to have to go the hospital in St. Louis for a few weeks to take treatments to try to remove his illness, this was a great shock to me because I have known this man all my life and would have never thought of him being sick or much less being able to become sick. When I think of this guy I put him in league with my father which is the scarier part, my dad is older and doesn't get out as much anymore, I am always constantly worrying about my dad. He has been there for me no matter what and in my opinion is by far the best human being on this planet, as with all my hypothesis I have facts to back this up so I'm not wrong. The next thing is the same night I found this all out my previous girlfriend decided to call me after two months of not talking, I enjoyed finding out she has been seeing someone for the past month and a half, that I know this guy but she won't tell me who it is and doesn't expect me to find out for quite sometime. I broke things off with her and I still feel it was for the best, I want her to be happy, she deserves that but she just had bad timing with putting it in my face even if she wasn't trying to. The next thing that I had occur was that I found out over the internet last night that the previous girl I saw was in a horrible car accident which literally demolished her car and spent a good day or so in the hospital. I had no idea of this and she ended up telling me this over AIM, better yet I work with this girl and I came to find out that people at work knew about it yet said nothing to me about it. That really floored me, this girl had been seeing another guy for a while now and I was fine with it and have moved on, we only saw each other for a little while but in that sort span of time she made a deep impression on me that I don't think I could get rid of if I wanted and it scared me to think that she could have died and I wouldn't have known. So I have had all these things on my mind and I have a presentation due on Tuesday that is suppose to last around twenty minutes. Oh joy to me, I couldn't concentrate today at all so I ended up at the gym where I sort out all my trouble and after about twelve miles of running I finally had to stop cuz I couldn't feel my legs anymore, truthfully that hit in around the eleventh mile but I didn't care enough at that point to stop. So here I am now trying to write out this presentation that I need to turn into the teacher tomorrow and then present on Tuesday and let me say, it is going well. So I hope everyone out there that this reaches is doing okay and is not experiencing anything like this, with that said I am sure there are those out there that have it worse, but this is my blog so I get to complain here right............ Yeah, thought so.

P.S. On a good note I got my Ipod back, thank god

Hyperdrive Technology

Hello boys and girls,

I hope everyone is doing well today, during my very long break this semester between classes I was jumping around the internet and looking on digg.com. While there I found a deal that talked about a new possible technology that could allow us to travel at speeds faster than the speed of light that we know of, confused yet, good. How is this possible, well we only have to bend the rules of physics to do it, nothing complicated thank goodness. Interesting huh, anyway this all has to do with the fundamental idea that gravity comes from dimensions of space and time as Einstein theorized. Now a little unknown German scientist named Heim believed this and put forth the idea of coupling that with electromagnetism and in the end resulting in the idea of six dimensions. This can easily be seen as true when you observe the nature of electrons. So electrons have mass and charge and when one gets pulled by gravity it makes an electromagnetic field. Heim believed in his model that it would be possible to convert electromagnetic energy into graviational and back again, the result thus being that the influence of gravity on the craft would basically be removed for the most part. So in other words this would allow us to use forces that come from the postulated 5th and 6th dimensions to propel a craft through space with no rocket fuel, not having to worry about cosmic radiation destroying our DNA and getting to Mars in a day or two. Hmmmm something to think about I believe.
Have a good day everyone.

Game

What is game exactly?? I am really starting to wonder this myself, do I have game, do I want game, I have been told by many that I do in some aspects have game and it is pretty good. I realize if I really want something I can get it, I have the ability if I think logically about it. So anyway what does this have to do with anything, well truthfully to me it has to do with everything. The truth be told I had never been that self secure of a person, I worried about what others thought of me and I was constantly comparing myself to other guys and wondering why girls liked them more than me, I was always more focused on the whys than the hows to fix this problem. Then came the realization that things weren't really that bad, I could fix all of this with changing how I look at things. This realization was then furthered when my friend Greg told me about this book I should read called "The Game" by Neil Strauss. This is a very interesting book in the fact that it talks about pick up artists and how they do what they do, the book isn't meant to teach you how to pick up women at all but in truth just covers the authors story of how he went from being self-conscious and shy to a smooth easy going guy that could pick up any girl he wanted. This was a two year period of his life where he learned and instigated all these things. The other night I decided to let go of some of my usual morals and try to get what I wanted by doing this, I wanted to kiss this girl, I didn't really have a big desire to go any further at that point because that's not how I am. Everyone can give me all the shit they want over this but I don't care, so be it. I did what I needed and guess what, I kissed her, multiple times. The sad thing is I never got to really kiss her though, when I kissed her it was in a way to keep her coming back for more, not to convey any type of emotion or to even say that hey, I like you. I'm not saying that it was bad but it wasn't what I wanted, to truly let go and kiss her. The book ends with Style (main character) realizing that what he was doing wasn't making himself happy at all and he wouldn't get what he wanted until he was honest with himself and everyone else. The book was very good and I recommend it to anyone who wishes to read it. So the end of the story is this, the answers I seek I still haven't found, I know I should be confident and easy going but it isn't easy still and this causes one thing. For me to end up alone here with my honesty and never getting to kiss the girl in the unprotected, laying it all on the line way that I wish I could have or even saying, I really like you for who you are and I don't care what other people say or think, because when I see you smile the air lifts a little and time slows down. I'm sorry, thought I doubt you will ever read this. Night time everyone, I wrote this kind of late so grammar problems I will fix later.
goodbye everyone