Rules of Relationships
This is an old email I sent out to a bunch of friends but I thought it was worth reposting it on this site because I believe it holds some very important insights.
As I was sitting at my computer tonight I was looking through a very interesting web site that I must give Greg credit for directing me to known as tuckermax.com. As I was thumbing my way through the eventful and funny stories which I recommend to all of you I was noticing some corresponding ideas this guy and I have on relationships so I thought I would share some of these things with you for your enjoyment and maybe this knowledge will help you in some way or another one of these days when you find yourself not knowing what to do.
Rule # 1: Do not and let me repeat do not let yourself become blinded by emotion.
Now you might say that love is all about emotions and how can you tell me to shut those off, very easily actually if you want to keep from getting walked all over. Everyone can get carried away with what they want to be true instead of what really is true, you have to learn to step back and evaluate what's going on or the next thing you know it will be over and this person has walked off with your pride, dignity and in some cases credit cards.
Rule # 2: Always pay attention to actions and never words.
In this day and age words mean almost nothing at all so there is no point in paying attention
to what is coming out of a person's mouth. If I wanted I could very easily lie to a person about who I am what I like and what I enjoy doing, most people can read your body language and tell you exactly what you want to hear just to get from you what they want.
Rule # 3: If you are in a relationship do not lie to yourself about the relationship. (Kind of corresponds with Rule # 1)
Now I should probably clarify this rule a little bit, what I mean here is that you shouldn't allow yourself to see something that isn't there. I have had plenty of friends of mine girls and guys complain to me about their relationships and when it comes down to it the whole problem was they made out their bf or gf to be perfect, they had put them on some sort of pedestal. Please do not do this because this road leads no where but disappointment.
Rule # 4: Learn to deal with and accept change. (Maybe the hardest rule of them all)
Change is a very problematic thing for people to deal with, if any of you guys have read my article on change then this is a bit of a repeat for you with a new spin but its relevance is still there. Most people are frightened of change, they get use to how things operate and don't wish to complicate the cycle by throwing something new into it, even when the current occupants become worn out or old. Many people refuse to realize when a relationship is over (me being one of them), now when I say over I don't mean when the two of you decide to part and go your separate ways but when in the relationship you come to the point where you realize you can't take it any further and it has to end. I realize this is hard to do for two reasons especially, 1. You are scared you won't be able to find anyone else out there so you try to stick it out thinking this is your last shot. Then number 2. You are having trouble with the idea that it just isn't going to workout and won't let it go because of this. Over time people do change, that's just the way things work, sometimes because of this people fall out of love with one and other and this isn't anyone's fault, it is just something that happens. So then the hard part is learning to recognize this and dealing with it.
As I was reading Tucker's ideas they reminded me of these things that I have thought about and I have many more but I won't bore you anymore with them because I am sure if you have actually read this all the way to here you are sick of reading it and wondering why I sent this out. I guess my main reason is to throw it out there, through my experiences I have learned these things and I hope you guys can benefit from them as I have.
As I was sitting at my computer tonight I was looking through a very interesting web site that I must give Greg credit for directing me to known as tuckermax.com. As I was thumbing my way through the eventful and funny stories which I recommend to all of you I was noticing some corresponding ideas this guy and I have on relationships so I thought I would share some of these things with you for your enjoyment and maybe this knowledge will help you in some way or another one of these days when you find yourself not knowing what to do.
Rule # 1: Do not and let me repeat do not let yourself become blinded by emotion.
Now you might say that love is all about emotions and how can you tell me to shut those off, very easily actually if you want to keep from getting walked all over. Everyone can get carried away with what they want to be true instead of what really is true, you have to learn to step back and evaluate what's going on or the next thing you know it will be over and this person has walked off with your pride, dignity and in some cases credit cards.
Rule # 2: Always pay attention to actions and never words.
In this day and age words mean almost nothing at all so there is no point in paying attention
to what is coming out of a person's mouth. If I wanted I could very easily lie to a person about who I am what I like and what I enjoy doing, most people can read your body language and tell you exactly what you want to hear just to get from you what they want.
Rule # 3: If you are in a relationship do not lie to yourself about the relationship. (Kind of corresponds with Rule # 1)
Now I should probably clarify this rule a little bit, what I mean here is that you shouldn't allow yourself to see something that isn't there. I have had plenty of friends of mine girls and guys complain to me about their relationships and when it comes down to it the whole problem was they made out their bf or gf to be perfect, they had put them on some sort of pedestal. Please do not do this because this road leads no where but disappointment.
Rule # 4: Learn to deal with and accept change. (Maybe the hardest rule of them all)
Change is a very problematic thing for people to deal with, if any of you guys have read my article on change then this is a bit of a repeat for you with a new spin but its relevance is still there. Most people are frightened of change, they get use to how things operate and don't wish to complicate the cycle by throwing something new into it, even when the current occupants become worn out or old. Many people refuse to realize when a relationship is over (me being one of them), now when I say over I don't mean when the two of you decide to part and go your separate ways but when in the relationship you come to the point where you realize you can't take it any further and it has to end. I realize this is hard to do for two reasons especially, 1. You are scared you won't be able to find anyone else out there so you try to stick it out thinking this is your last shot. Then number 2. You are having trouble with the idea that it just isn't going to workout and won't let it go because of this. Over time people do change, that's just the way things work, sometimes because of this people fall out of love with one and other and this isn't anyone's fault, it is just something that happens. So then the hard part is learning to recognize this and dealing with it.
As I was reading Tucker's ideas they reminded me of these things that I have thought about and I have many more but I won't bore you anymore with them because I am sure if you have actually read this all the way to here you are sick of reading it and wondering why I sent this out. I guess my main reason is to throw it out there, through my experiences I have learned these things and I hope you guys can benefit from them as I have.
posted by 4man at 12:19 AM
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